For all you queer cat and Starbucks lovers....

[max power]

Copied from a chain email, Gump style.

THE MAN TEST

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are a

queer. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have

spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the

Oprah diet...

2. If you have a cat, you are a homo. A cat is like a dog, but queer-- it

grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch

except when it uses its claws, and whines to be fed. And just think about

how you call a dog..... 'Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here,

Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat..'Bun-bun, come to daddy,

snookums!' Jeeez, you're so queer.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, or any such nonsense, rest

assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab

claws, raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything

else and you are a Homo in training and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a

parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is

his toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you're as fairy as

Tinkerbelle. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Frappe' or a

'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've

had a man there too..

6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colors or four

different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as

well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space

in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse

you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or

denim, you are a peter puffer.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to

tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a

slow-assed driver or to cut the prick off. The rest of the time he needs

that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, scratch his nuts

or hold his beer.

[QuikAccord]

3. Don't forget to suck a clit ice in a while....

6. If you can't remember the names of shit, you're a dumb ass. Also this dumb ass obviously doesn't own a gun or bike. The most important textile of all, Kevlar!

7. A real man drives a manual transmission.

[John]

cats > you

[Helmutt]

3. Don't forget to suck a clit once in a while....

6. If you can't remember the names of shit, you're a dumb ass. Also this dumb ass obviously doesn't own a gun or bike. The most important textile of all, Kevlar!

7. A real man can drive a manual transmission proficiently, but has earned his automatic achievement since he spent 20 years of his life shifting all day.

Ftfy

[max power]

cats > you

Yeah yeah your cats awesome he's just like a dog blah blah blah.

[John]

lol nah, if my cat was like a dog, i wouldnt have him. dogs are filthy animals and should not even be allowed inside a house, let alone on the furniture.

[ohdaho]

If you have to sit down and write a list of things that you think make others homo, you are a closet homo.

[2Wheeler]

I wont put up with any animal that shits in my house!

[NinjaNick]

Cats are independent. Dogs rely on you like a welfare participant. Can't do shit for themselves. Wake you up just to piss, shit, etc. They smell, will eat another animals poop, and will submit to any human.

Cats are clean, self maintaining, and make you earn their respect. They don't puss out for humans.

I have 2 dogs and 2 cats, I prefer cats now after having dogs all my life.

[jblosser]

Copied from a chain email, Gump style.

THE MAN TEST

...

6. ...or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard...

it's pudding, not custard.

ice cream, cake, pudding, and pie.

[ScubaCinci]

According to BIG-ERN, most of us on here are already homos so we don't need no stinkin' list to point out the obvious.

[max power]

lol nah, if my cat was like a dog, i wouldnt have him. dogs are filthy animals and should not even be allowed inside a house, let alone on the furniture.

I wont put up with any animal that shits in my house!

This! Why would you let any animal on your furniture?

According to BIG-ERN, most of us on here are already homos so we don't need no stinkin' list to point out the obvious.

This is true, especially those track guys.

[jblosser]

who the hell's this "big-ern" fella?

he the one what wants to start up a club?

hmmm...

[Howabusa]

Lmao!

[John]

I wont put up with any animal that shits in my house!

i dont understand this... dont YOU shit indoors too? or do you go in the yard like some kind of philistine?

going inside is one of the hallmarks of civility.

[Steve Butters]

Cats are so fucking lame. Worst animals ever.

I need to start breeding them and freezing the kittens for snake food.

At least dogs give a shit if you're there... No pet is independent. They all rely on their owners. At least dogs are thankful and don't just snub their nose at the hand that feeds them.

[bowdog]

Cats are so fucking lame. Worst animals ever.

I need to start breeding them and freezing the kittens for snake food.

At least dogs give a shit if you're there... No pet is independent. They all rely on their owners. At least dogs are thankful and don't just snub their nose at the hand that feeds them.

LOL why u so mad bro?!??

[John]

cats are very good judges of character. if they constantly snub you, its because they know you're an asshole.

[ReconRat]

CDC list of diseases that humans catch from cats:

Campylobacter Infection (campylobacteriosis): A bacterial disease associated with cats, dogs, and farm animals. Cat Scratch Disease (Bartonella henselae): A bacterial disease associated with cat scratches and bites.

Coxiella burnetti Infection (Q fever): A bacterial disease occasionally associated with cats.

Cryptosporidium Infection (cryptosporidiosis): A parasitic disease associated with cats, dogs, and farm animals.

Dipylidium Infection (tapeworm): A parasitic disease associated with cats, dogs and fleas.

Hookworm Infection: A parasitic disease associated with cats, dogs and their environment.

Leptospira Infection (leptospirosis): A bacterial disease associated wild and domestic animals including cats.

Plague (Yersinia pestis) Infection: A rare bacterial disease associated with rodents and cats and fleas.

Q Fever (Coxiella burnetii): A bacterial disease occasionally associated with cats.

Rabies: A viral disease associated with various animals, including cats.

Ringworm: A fungal disease associated various animals, including with cats.

Roundworm: See Toxocara Infection.

Salmonella Infection (salmonellosis): A bacterial disease associated with various animals, including cats.

Tapeworm (flea tapeworm): See Dipylidium Infection.

Toxocara Infection (toxocariasis, roundworm): A parasitic disease associated with cats, dogs and their environment.

Toxoplasma Infection (toxoplasmosis): A parasitic disease associated with cats and their environment.

To be fair, CDC list of diseases that humans can catch from dogs:

Brucella canis Infection (brucellosis): A bacterial disease rarely associated with dogs.

Campylobacter Infection (campylobacteriosis): A bacterial disease associated with dogs, cats, and farm animals.

Cryptosporidium Infection (cryptosporidiosis): A parasitic disease associated with dogs, especially puppies, cats, and farm animals.

Dipylidium Infection (tapeworm): A parasitic disease associated with dogs, cats and fleas.

Giardia Infection (giardiasis): A parasitic disease associated with various animals, including dogs and their environment (including water).

Hookworm Infection: A parasitic disease associated with dogs and cats and their environment.

Leishmania Infection (leishmaniasis): A parasitic disease associated with dogs and sand flies outside the United States.

Leptospira Infection (leptospirosis): A bacterial disease associated with wild and domestic animals, including dogs.

Lyme Disease: A bacterial disease that can affect dogs and ticks.

Q Fever (Coxiella burnetii): A bacterial disease occasionally associated with dogs.

Rabies: A viral disease associated with various animals, including dogs.

Ringworm: A fungal disease associated with dogs.

Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever: A bacterial disease associated with dogs and ticks.

Roundworm: See Toxocara infection.

Salmonella Infection (salmonellosis): A bacterial disease associated with various animals including dogs.

Tapeworm (flea tapeworm): See Dipylidium Infection.

Toxocara Infection (toxocariasis, roundworm): A parasitic disease associated with dogs and cats and their environment.

[NinjaNick]

According to BIG-ERN, most of us on here are already homos so we don't need no stinkin' list to point out the obvious.

cats are very good judges of character. if they constantly snub you, its because they know you're an asshole.

Lmao! That sums it up. His comment shows it too.

[Tigerpaw]

cats are very good judges of character. if they constantly snub you, its because they know you're an asshole.

What does it say about me if they lick their junk all day?

[Cdubyah]

What does it say about me if they lick their junk all day?

That you didn't get them neutered.

[grapesmuggler27]

Cats hate me but pussy loves me

[OsuMj]

WHAT IS HAPPENING. Fucking winter.

[NinjaNick]

What does it say about me if they lick their junk all day?

Same thing it does when your dog does it.