moments in life that make you think 'what the heck just happened?'

[RFM]

Poor Howie.

Bestest.

[InyaAzz]

A man offered to suck my cock in the back of a store in the Houston airport about oh...15 years ago. I was either on the way back to Ft. Riley, or going home on leave, and I got to the airport right before all the stores were opening up. I had time to kill, so I was just browsing. The clerk asks me if I see anything I like...because he likes what he sees and we can go in the back and 'make a deal'. Maybe I was getting more than a cock gobble, now that I look back on it.

About 10 or so years ago...I'm driving in downtown CLE near the flats with my girlfriend, at the light on the East end of the Vets bridge. A car crosses the intersection...with what appears to be a bunch of snow stuck under it...wait....is that a ??....yes...it's a fucking mattress stuck UNDER the car. One of the wheels is off the ground and a full size mattress is jammed under the car while it's driving down the street. WOW.

There's more..I just don't remember.

[Cdubyah]

Wow, some store clerks have no tact.

[InyaAzz]

Oh yeah....

Sometime before I left MI for the Army, I had met some female in Bay City, MI. If you know Bay City, you know there was some fucking to be had later that night. Well, we get to her trailer (lulz), and she has a roommate. I hear the chick I'm with say something like "Well, I'm first, you can get some when I'm done". At this point I'm thinking...JACKPOT. Well, we get to exchanging fluids, and I'm hittin' it doggie style. My balls are just flapping away and banging against her like it's nobody's business. All of a sudden, I feel her hand start to stroke my sack. I'm in heaven now......until I look down and see both of her hands in front of her. WTF?!?! I turn around and it's her fucking toddler!! Where did SHE come from?? And why is she playing with my balls?!??!?!??!!?!?

[MidgetTodd]

Dear Inya,

Thank you for sharing, you can take your seat now.

[Cdubyah]

I vote that the winner!!!

[chevysoldier]

Oh yeah....

Sometime before I left MI for the Army, I had met some female in Bay City, MI. If you know Bay City, you know there was some fucking to be had later that night. Well, we get to her trailer (lulz), and she has a roommate. I hear the chick I'm with say something like "Well, I'm first, you can get some when I'm done". At this point I'm thinking...JACKPOT. Well, we get to exchanging fluids, and I'm hittin' it doggie style. My balls are just flapping away and banging against her like it's nobody's business. All of a sudden, I feel her hand start to stroke my sack. I'm in heaven now......until I look down and see both of her hands in front of her. WTF?!?! I turn around and it's her fucking toddler!! Where did SHE come from?? And why is she playing with my balls?!??!?!??!!?!?

Oh I think I am gonna choke on my food!!!

[CattaniAFJ]

Oh yeah....

Sometime before I left MI for the Army, I had met some female in Bay City, MI. If you know Bay City, you know there was some fucking to be had later that night. Well, we get to her trailer (lulz), and she has a roommate. I hear the chick I'm with say something like "Well, I'm first, you can get some when I'm done". At this point I'm thinking...JACKPOT. Well, we get to exchanging fluids, and I'm hittin' it doggie style. My balls are just flapping away and banging against her like it's nobody's business. All of a sudden, I feel her hand start to stroke my sack. I'm in heaven now......until I look down and see both of her hands in front of her. WTF?!?! I turn around and it's her fucking toddler!! Where did SHE come from?? And why is she playing with my balls?!??!?!??!!?!?

That is disturbing, yet hilarious.

[siggywiggy]

^^^

[RFM]

I lied previously. That was the bestest.

[OsuMj]

omg, i hope you made that up... that is so wrong.

[MidgetTodd]

I lied previously. That was the bestest.

Traitor

omg, i hope you made that up... that is so wrong.

I hope not, if I find out it's not real then I gotta pull that page outta my bank.

[yotaman88210]

BEST fooking story ever!! LMAO!!!! :lol:

Thanks Inya, that made my day!!

[Steve Butters]

I hope not, if I find out it's not real then I gotta pull that page outta my bank.

so wrong

[InyaAzz]

It's the 100% truth. I wish I had made it up.

[YSR_Racer_99]

Got my vote. Crying....

[InyaAzz]

It took a few years to actually process what happened that night. I don't know if I should be concerned that I don't know whether to be mad because my sack wasn't being stroked anymore or the fact that that when I turn around.. there's a toddler looking at me like 'where'd my toy go, and who are YOU?'

Ol' girl didn't seem to be in too much of a hurry to remove her from the situation either.

I'm not proud...this was back in my whoring days. I only do it professionally now, as opposed to giving it away for free.

And I tried not to judge when I found out where we were going. Actually, she omitted that part about where she lived. I had to find that one out when I was turning into the 'park'.

Bay City, MI. The stuff dreams (nightmares) are made out of.

(I'm giving Bay City a hard time, but the trailer park was actually outside of Bay City..closer to Saginaw)

Edited October 6, 2010 by InyaAzz

[chevysoldier]

It took a few years to actually process what happened that night. I don't know if I should be concerned that don't know whether to be mad because my sack wasn't being stroked anymore or the fact that that when I turn around.. there's a toddler looking at me like 'where'd my toy go, and who are YOU?'

Ol' girl didn't seem to be in too much of a hurry to remove her from the situation either.

I'm not proud...this was back in my whoring days. I only do it professionally now, as opposed to giving it away for free.

And I tried not to judge when I found out where we were going. Actually, she omitted that part about where she lived. I had to find that one out when I was turning into the 'park'.

Bay City, MI. The stuff dreams (nightmares) are made out of.

(I'm giving Bay City a hard time, but the trailer park was actually outside of Bay City..closer to Saginaw)

I may have missed it but.....did you stop what you were doing and leave?

[Steve Butters]

epic points if you got rid of toddler and went right back to it

[InyaAzz]

^ This

[Steve Butters]

i love you.

[chevysoldier]

^ This

at least you got rid of the kid.

i love you.

[Steve Butters]

chebby, i love you too broski

[chevysoldier]

chebby, i love you too broski

Me><you . Obviously.

[BiggO]

For your entertainment, another ridiculous random event...

I was perusing the cheap end tables and night stands at walmart when I hear "you put your left arm in, you put your left arm out..." and I see someone out of the corner of my eye staring at me from my left side. "you put your left arm in and you shake it all about" got a little louder as the guy singing it passed in front of me. He turned his head to look at my face, mumbled 'damn, lookin good', and continued around the corner. I am left standing there, confused and holding back laughter, as he comes back around the corner and proceeds to ask me if i'm married, probably thinking that my smiling was out of flattery and not out of the fact that i have just been hit on by a weird dude singing the hokey pokey at walmart. I shook my head and said i have a boyfriend, and he said 'that's too bad, good for him' and walked away. Although, looking back on that, I feel like I could have taken the crown for most hilbilly man meeting - I met a man at walmart while looking at press-wood furniture... he was singing the hokey pokey and it was so romantic.

Anyone else have a random story?

Damn, the same thing happened to me the one time I was in IKE. But he was gay, singing the hockey pockey, and it was romantic!