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moments in life that make you think 'what the heck just happened?'


OsuMj
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All of a sudden, I feel her hand start to stroke my sack. I'm in heaven now......until I look down and see both of her hands in front of her. WTF?!?! I turn around and it's her fucking toddler!! Where did SHE come from?? And why is she playing with my balls?!??!?!??!!?!?
I have held them too and I really liked it
Me>:bj:<you .

This thread delivers.

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This one isn't as good as inya being molested by a toddler. About 5 years ago myself and my girlfriend at the time were really gettin it on one evening. She was on her back I had both her ankles in my hands and had them over her head against the head board. All of the sudden I hear the door open. I turn and look and her 14 year old sister is standing there with a shocked look because she walked in mid thrust. So I'm sitting there like a deer in the headlights trying to think of what to say during this awkward silence. Then she says "sorry I will come back later". Shuts the door and walks out. I look back down at my girlfriend and she has her head turned to the side and her eyes closed as if she was sleeping. I asked her wtf she was doing. "i don't know, its the only thing I could think to do" she said. I guess because the only thing to make getting walked in on by her sister look better, is to make it look like I am the only one doing anything and she isn't aware of what's happening. If anyone would believe she was sleeping after walking in that would really make me look good. Like I'm the type of guy screwing sleeping chicks and I'm so bad that they don't even wake up. Awesome.

Edited by cOoTeR
typo
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Another ex-girlfriend story. Different girl. I was 17 and dating this older girl. Her parents were out of town so we had the house to our self. We got it on in the living room it was going great but her dads chocolate lab had me nervous because he was watching. I was afraid he might attack me or even worse turn it in to a trailer park threesom. Well we finished up with no incidents. She went to the restroom, I took the condom off and set it beside the chair I sat in as I caught my breath. She came back down the hall and startled me by saying "you motherfucker". I panic thinking she's about to do some black widow shit and kill me now. I look towards the door because I'm about to run out it butt naked when I see the dog. This lab is sitting there with the condom hanging out of its mouth looking like an ethiopian that just sucked the cream filling out of a rubber twinkie. That dog was a mess its face was covered in drool and sex juice. I start laughing she gets pissed and starts yelling that if he eats that and she's got to explain to her dad why is hunting dog just shit a used condom her dad would kill us both. To make matters worse the dog thought we were playing and kept running around the house as we chased it. That dog was happy as could be running around smacking himself in the face with that sex balloon slopping jizz all over the place. We eventually caught the dog and he didn't eat the condom. I bet that would have been a site to see us running around like naked idiots chasing a dog that's trying to blow bubbles made of cock shot.

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Oh yeah....

Sometime before I left MI for the Army, I had met some female in Bay City, MI. If you know Bay City, you know there was some fucking to be had later that night. Well, we get to her trailer (lulz), and she has a roommate. I hear the chick I'm with say something like "Well, I'm first, you can get some when I'm done". At this point I'm thinking...JACKPOT. Well, we get to exchanging fluids, and I'm hittin' it doggie style. My balls are just flapping away and banging against her like it's nobody's business. All of a sudden, I feel her hand start to stroke my sack. I'm in heaven now......until I look down and see both of her hands in front of her. WTF?!?! I turn around and it's her fucking toddler!! Where did SHE come from?? And why is she playing with my balls?!??!?!??!!?!?

I about pissed my pants reading this!

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Oh yeah....

Sometime before I left MI for the Army, I had met some female in Bay City, MI. If you know Bay City, you know there was some fucking to be had later that night. Well, we get to her trailer (lulz), and she has a roommate. I hear the chick I'm with say something like "Well, I'm first, you can get some when I'm done". At this point I'm thinking...JACKPOT. Well, we get to exchanging fluids, and I'm hittin' it doggie style. My balls are just flapping away and banging against her like it's nobody's business. All of a sudden, I feel her hand start to stroke my sack. I'm in heaven now......until I look down and see both of her hands in front of her. WTF?!?! I turn around and it's her fucking toddler!! Where did SHE come from?? And why is she playing with my balls?!??!?!??!!?!?

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I have plenty of stories, one of the strangest...

Motogp weekend 08, me and my friend Tj are driving around looking for a walmart, coming in the opposite direction was a car with a guy laying on the hood, with his back on the windshield in front of the drivers seat. He was just hangin out texting with one hand, bottle of water in the other wearing a completly straight face, going 40-45mph....WTF?

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ok, so I haven't rode the newer bike without a helmet. So I ran down to the carryout without. And when I let the throttle be late, when I pull in the clutch, it made this sound... sort of burrrrzzzzipphummmm. What the heck was that? It did it again. Does it do that all the time? And I've never really heard it with helmet on? (And tunes playing...) The back end of the cans are cut out, enough to backfire when decelerating. It sounded like both cans and all four pipes were vibrating. I guess it makes all sorts of neat noises. Kids come running out of houses to see that...

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ok, so I haven't rode the newer bike without a helmet. So I ran down to the carryout without. And when I let the throttle be late, when I pull in the clutch, it made this sound... sort of burrrrzzzzipphummmm. What the heck was that? It did it again. Does it do that all the time? And I've never really heard it with helmet on? (And tunes playing...) The back end of the cans are cut out, enough to backfire when decelerating. It sounded like both cans and all four pipes were vibrating. I guess it makes all sorts of neat noises. Kids come running out of houses to see that...

What?

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What?

I dunno, I'll listen up tomorrow and see how it acts. At first it sounded like an exhaust leak up front. If it had whistled at me I would have understood. Maybe something crawled up the pipe while it was parked, and I'll have to rev up and blow it out. Maybe I better start looking for something loose and vibrating. Dunno....

edit: it was also a cold engine, choke not on, hadn't been started for a couple of weeks... who knows what demons lurk...

edit2: you know what? 919s are known for loud headlight vibrations. I've never heard the '02 do that, but maybe this one does.

edit3: When I let off the gas late, I expect the exhaust to make a nice WOOF sound. Not this other whatever...

edit4: ok, it turns out it is the headlight / instrument cluster making a huge buzzing sound. It doesn't happen too often. And then the back tire lost all it's air....

Edited by ReconRat
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